I'll Never (One year without you. A poem for Sofia, my beautiful baby girl) I'll never see you smile or ever hear you laugh. I'll never watch you splashing in the bath. I'll never sooth your tears when you start to cry. I'll never sing you a gentle lullaby. I'll never get to watch you grow. I'll never get to buy you dolls. I'll never teach you how to walk. I'll never teach you how to talk. I'll never blow raspberries on your tummy. I'll never hear you say 'daddy' or 'mummy'. I'll never kiss your chubby little cheeks. I'll never get to play hide and go seek. I'll never tickle your tiny toes. I'll never pretend to steal your nose. I'll never take you to the park or farm or zoo. I'll never get to play peek-a-boo. I'll never feed you solid food. Ill never make play doh creations with you. I'll never throw you a first birthday party. I'll never make finger print paintings when were feeling arty. I'll never get to plait your hair. I'll never choose you a pretty pink dress to wear. I'll never sing row your boat or ba- ba black sheep I'll never rock you in my arms until you fall asleep. I'll never watch you splash around when we go to the pool. I'll never take you to playgroup or nursery school. But above all the things that I 'll never do, I'll never stop loving and longing for and missing you.

One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we welcomed our daughter Sofia into the world. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we gazed in awe at the beauty of your sweet face. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since after nine months of waiting, we finally met our little girl. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we were all in a much less sorrowful place. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we held you so gently and whispered 'hello'. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we looked into your beautiful, dark brown eyes. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we had to make the hardest decision and let you go. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we heard the sound of your tiny cry. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since your short life blossomed here on Earth. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since you took ours away, when you took your first breath. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we experienced the magnificence of your birth. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since we endured the agonising anguish of your death. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since our world, all around us, came crashing down. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since the blue, sunny skies were tinted with grey. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since our once happy smiles turned into deeply saddened frowns. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since the day you grew wings and flew away. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since our hearts were broken, torn into two. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Of our arms endlessly aching to hold you again. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. That we have been forced to live our lives without you. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Of our souls being filled with such gut wrenching pain. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Every parents worst nightmare, for us, it became true. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Of suffering the torment of never ending heart ache. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since our biggest fears became real when we lost you. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Of wishing it was all a cruel dream from which we could awake. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Of loss, of despair, of yearning, of emptiness, of feeling alone. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Since the overwhelming sense of you absence darkened our lives with black. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Of wanting to climb up to heaven and bring you safely home. One year. Twelve months. Fifty two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Of needing nothing more than to simply just have you back.

For 18 weeks we were so excited to be having a baby. For 22 weeks we were terrified if we would get to meet our baby. For 52 weeks we have had to live without our baby. You are all we ever wanted and all we will ever continue to want back. Missing you is the most painful thing we will ever do. We'll like you for ever, we'll love you for always, as long as were living, our baby you'll be. Happy 1st birthday to mummy and daddys beautiful princess. I hope you are celebrating in the clouds. Our little angel sofia xxx